I’m frugal. I haven’t purchased new Christmas decorations in, say, at least five years. I just can’t seem to bring myself to either throw away what I deem perfectly usable (though deteriorating) decorations and spend over $15 on their replacements.
Do you know how many Caribou mochas I could buy for $15?!
Anyway, this past weekend I decided to decorate the house. I wound my thin[ning] garland around our banisters, hung two nameless stockings on the fireplace, plugged in the hubby’s ancient fiber optic tabletop Christmas tree, and set up the Nativity scene candle holder set that I bought years ago and plopped the still plastic-encased red tea lights in their respective holes.
Then the grand finale: the front door wreath.
I pulled out the decaying monstrosity from its box and, to my dismay, even more of the plastic coating covering the foam berries had crumbled away since last year. My once shimmery red holly berries were dull, lifeless drops of snowy Styrofoam.
Oh, the horror.
But, instead of doing the unthinkable and tossing the wreath, I decided to get all DIY and fix ‘er up. Using red permanent marker would undoubtedly make the whole thing look drab and sparkle-free, so that option was out, and I wasn’t about to snip off the berries with a pair of scissors and retire them to the round file altogether. So, what’s a girl to do?
Grab the nail polish, of course.
I don’t give myself manicures often, but I do have a bottle of semi-sparkly holiday red for the rare occasion that I have somewhere special to go to. In truth, this is the bottle I bought to paint my nails for my Vegas wedding almost three years ago. And it’s the same bottle I used for a holiday party five years ago.
Yep. That’s how often I paint my nails.
I whipped out the bottle, shook it up, and blobbed away at every visible white berry with hefty drops of polish after plucking off what I could of the berries’ decaying and shriveled red plastic skins.
Granted, this wasn’t a pro job but it seemed to do what I needed it to do as far as coverage went. (Had I wanted to take the time to give those berries a second coating I’m sure they would have turned out really nice. But, let’s face it: I don’t even give my fingernails a second coating. Who am I trying to kid, here?)
I tried to hurry. I’m not a fan of nail polish fumes and I wasn’t eager to get high on the stuff. I still had more decorating to do, after all! However, I realized the job was still taking too long despite my efforts when Hubby, who was in the same room doing computer things, spoke up. “What’s that smell?”
“Nail polish,” I said, bashfully, plugging away with my tiny brush at any speck of white I could reach. I got no answer from him. Plow ahead!
In the midst of my excitement, I decided that the wreath’s apple needed a touch-up, too, so I dabbled and spread a few drops of polish there as well. I wasn’t afraid of being liberal with the stuff. In truth, I was hoping I’d use up all the bottle so I could buy a new color. That didn’t work out.
Finally done! Not too shabby for a 99-cent bottle of thousand year old nail polish and an equally old Christmas wreath. Now to figure out how to keep my garland from falling apart…